![]() Too bad no one's ever heard of YOU at all. ![]() I hope now you've learned to stop picking your nose. I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle! So you got that job as janitor, after all. There are no words for how disgusting you are. Nobody's ever drawn blood from me and nobody ever will. He must have taught you everything you know. I once owned a dog that was smarter than you. Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again eh? I'm not going to take your insolence sitting down! People fall at my feet when they see me coming! Soon you'll be wearing my sword like a shish kebab!įirst you'd better stop waving it like a feather duster. I'm glad to hear you attended your family reunion! I've spoken with apes more polite than you! This is the END for you, you gutter crawling cur!Īnd I've got a little TIP for you, get the POINT? Once you learn 12 and win three fights with normal pirates, they will begin to say 'You're good enough to fight the Sword Master'. In Rise of the Pirate God, Guybrush fights against both Morgan and Bill and must simultaneously insult Bill but compliment Morgan to raise her spirits after a prior defeat. In Tales of Monkey Island Insult Swordfighting is apparently no longer practised by anyone except farm boys according to Morgan LeFlay. Guybrush may also challenge Ozzie Mandrill to an insult swordfight, but will be utterly defeated due to not understanding his opponents Australian themed insults. In Escape from Monkey Island, Guybrush Insult arm-wrestles Ignatius Cheese (the owner of the Scumm Bar). In The Curse of Monkey Island Guybrush must find and confront Captain Rene Rottingham after he steals a map from him. In The Secret of Monkey Island Guybrush Threepwood must defeat the Sword Master of Mêlée Island as one of the Three Trials to prove himself worthy of becoming a pirate. They are beatable, but prove the toughest opponents of all in sword fights. It is also impossible to gain the upper hand against them, even with a successful comeback. Usually these individuals have their own unique arsenal of insults and those who oppose them are forced to use their wits to find a comeback in their own repertoire that makes sense. A famous one is Carla, the Sword Master of Mêlée Island. Some practitioners of Insult Sword Fighting are known as Sword Masters. In order to learn more insults, it can be wise to lose on purpose, perhaps by using 'loser insults' such as " I am rubber, you are glue". ![]() If he used them later on a different pirate who had a proper comeback, he would then memorize that too. He could also learn the 'smart dog' insult from the Troll.Īfter his training, Threepwood had to go out into the forest and confront a number of pirates in order to learn more from them in combat.Īt first Threepwood would lose many fights not knowing many insults, but the pirates would use new ones which he would then memorize and be able to use in future battles. Guybrush Threepwood was taught two insults and comebacks by Captain Smirk on Mêlée Island: The famous 'dairy farmer' insult and the 'shish kabob'. 3.2 Battling on Sea Insult and Comeback Examples.The popularity of Insult Sword Fighting has spawned various other insult based pastimes including Insult Arm Wrestling. While fighting on board ship, all insult comebacks must rhyme with the attackers line. Insult Sword Fighting has a slightly different rule when at sea. Usually three successfully landed insults will ensure a combatants victory. Whoever retains the upper hand will be able to throw the next insult. ![]() If the comeback is sufficiently insulting, they will win the upper hand in the battle. The opponent will then be forced to respond with a comeback. Throughout the Caribbean a number of standard insults are used by the many pirates.ĭuring a fight there may come a natural break in the swordplay where one pirate will launch an insult such as "You fight like a Dairy Farmer". The intention of insults in sword fighting is to throw off an opponents guard and allow a swordsman to press their attack. Insult Sword Fighting is an activity within the Monkey Island series, heavily featured in the first part of The Secret of Monkey Island and being the bulk of Part Three of The Curse of Monkey Island.
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